Unleash

Unleash. My word for 2014.

I’m taking a page from Kelly Rae’s book – I knew the second I read this word that it was mine for the year ahead. I was thinking a lot about being brave, taking action and opening doors at the time.

Last year I had three words that guided my journey. They came about organically as I felt overwhelmed and needed to be peaceful, as I doubted myself and my path and needed to believe, and as I burned out and opened myself up to receive. The year wrapped up with calm, stillness, hibernation and a sense of my own power surfacing. Then the greatest thing happened – creativity poured out of me, I jumped to life, planned, worked, and felt energized and inspired. As the New Year rolls in I’m thinking big, planning big, creating bountifully and going after what I want. I am unleashing all the beauty that lives in my mind, creating with abandon, reaching and stretching for what I want my career and parenting to look like, taking chances and standing face to face with fear and rejection. I am untying the knots of pain and hurt that I’ve carried so long, creating space for the new. I am untangling myself from the patterns that aren’t moving me forward and instead taking action, being brave and being true. My voice is getting stronger as I ask for what I need and want. I can see opportunity and doors opening.

This is the year for me. The year where my growth manifests from a tiny nourished seed into a vital bloom. I am truly seen, as me.

Welcome 2014. I have been waiting for you.

2013: A Beautiful Year

 [ One of my latest pieces, perched ]

This year has truly stretched and expanded who I am as a person and an artist. Thank you for walking the journey with me. I am so incredibly grateful for you. I’m ending the year calm, inspired, and leaning into the desire for a quiet spell before I set out to create another beautiful year.

First, let me share some meaningful highlights that have filled me to the brim:

• The mixed media art retreat that changed me, inspired me and connected me to a beautiful community.

• The inspired reading retreat with creative ally and close friend Stephanie Sauvé that launched us both deeper into our truths and onto our paths, and that deepened a friendship that celebrates our full selves and pushes us to be our best.

• Pushing the boundaries and evolving my art-making style, and the beautiful pieces that emerged in the process. Here are a few I'm fond of, including some process photos – Softly, Spirited, Fierce Believer, Begin, Surfacing + Winter + Harmony.

 [ at sugar + spice art retreat. photo credit: Joyelle Brandt ]

[ beautiful, messy art desk - some of my hand carved stamps ]

• My experiments in surface pattern design, creating my own prints and papers for layering, stamp carving and geli-print making. I am loving discovering the possibilities.  

• Working with several stellar clients on design projects grounded in self-discovery and visual voice. The work I did with Melanie Rupp of Visionaria and Andrea Papin Counselling was some of my favourite. These women are amazing and I'm so happy with how their brands and websites came to life in spacious clean designs.

[ andreapapincounselling.com ]

[ visionaria.ca ]

• Doing commissioned artwork. I love this experience.

• Launching my Etsy shop and selling my art online. Thank you supporters! I have wanted to do this for a long time and it felt great to take the leap.

• Having a big run of greeting cards printed by moo, featuring all of my latest paintings. And stickers too. It was nerve-wracking but they were so well received – thank you everyone who bought greeting card gift sets. So appreciative of your enthusiasm and support.

• Seeing my art prints and greeting cards featured in boutiques. This is the beginning of something huge for me – I love turning my art into products. Can’t wait to expand into even more products. 

 [ Display of my art in Peaberry Boutique & Studio, Quebec. Photo credit: Renee Savoie ]

 [ packaging up my greeting card gift sets ]

• Sketching. I’ve created a practice of sketching whenever I have small moments of time. I find so much joy in it. My sketches pile up so when it comes time to paint, carve or do digital illustrations I have lots of raw material to work with. Plus sketching is a bit like meditation for me.

• Books. In my true book-loving spirit, I’ve been soaking up wisdom and inspiration all year long. Here are the ones that inspired me most, many of which continue to propel me forward on my biz and personal journey: The Firestarter Sessions, Grow Your Handmade Business, Conscious Living, The Highly Sensitive Person, Daring Greatly, Torn, I just Like to Make Things, The Creative Habit, Organized Simplicity, Creative Illustration Workshop, and have just started reading Flora Bowley’s Brave Intuitive Painting (love it so far) and Zentangle: The Untangled Workshop. Next up is The Art of Nonconformity. And after that The War of Art.

 [ Harmony. Prints and greeting cards available here ]

• Doing a 21 day meditation experience with Deepak Chopra.

• Writing. I wrote a lot this year. Blog posts, free writing, morning pages, night pages, journaling, prompts. This has been a year of self-reflection via writing and I’m learning that I love to write.

• Healing. Physical, emotional, spiritual.

• Going within and looking at the limiting beliefs holding me back, and starting to replace them with beautiful truths (this is a journey). Allowing and receiving the support I need to grow through this, including my blooming relationships with a counsellor and a business consultant. 

 [ in heaven in barefoot contessa, simply my favourite shop in Vancouver ]

• I opened myself up to real connections with creative women that have impacted me beyond words, and I have found an online creative community where I am home. I belong.

• Most recently I’ve started integrating mixed-media jewelry making into my repertoire (this takes me back to a passion from my childhood and it feels like such a natural thing for me to explore).

• I’ve been saying YES a lot this past year. Opening the doors to opportunity and welcoming support, abundance, beauty, spaciousness and joy.

 [ disheveled, relaxed and happy, in Port Townsend. Wearing my fave gold glitter shoes! ]

• And on a final (longer) note, I’m proud of how I’m integrating motherhood and business right now. It is not easy, and I’m often filled with conflict, but I’m navigating it in a healthy way (bumps and dips are inevitable). It’s easy to get stuck on the guilt train and tell the same story even though it’s not serving you anymore (“being a mom doesn’t leave enough space for making art and running my business, there’s never enough time…” etc). We all get caught up in this but I felt like I had the strength this year to put it aside and change my reality to something that works better for me. I am making room for my own needs and desires within our family, and everyone is benefiting. And I’m listening to the whispers that have been getting louder and louder, trying to get my attention and remind me of what kind of parent I want to be, what kind of experience I want to offer my son.  I’ve made some big changes, and will continue to.

 [ new piece, in progress. working big ]

As the year comes to a close and I prepare for the next chapter, I'm thinking about what I’m really after...

A Quiet Mind. A Peaceful Heart. An Ignited Spirit.

This is what it’s really all about. My journey of art-making, growing, parenting, and self-discovery is all connected. Being engaged in a creative process is my most natural way of being in the world, and my way of discovering who I am. From this place I send my art out into the world and hope others will use it as a mirror to see how beautiful, gifted, capable and valuable they are too, and inspire them to reflect and discover who they are.

I hope you’ve a had a beautiful and rewarding year, and that this holiday season brings you joy and closeness with those dearest to you. Happy Holidays dear friends.

Sending peace and love,

This post is part of the Flying Lessons Blog Circle. See what my flying sisters are reflecting on at the end of this wonderful year:

Amy Riddle, Asheville NC
Sandy King, Atlanta
Monica Martin, San Diego
Robin Heim, Southern California
Naz Laila, Australia
Laly Mille, France
Kathie Gadd

On Gratitude

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes. “ —Marcel Proust

It’s easy to see what we’re lacking. It’s much more difficult to find the gifts in all of life’s moments and challenges. I’ve recently been focusing on shifting my perspective away from scarcity and towards gratitude and abundance. While there are many things big and small to pause and feel grateful for, here are the two on my mind most often lately:

Receiving. Support. It takes courage to ask for and receive support. I’m fiercely independent and self-reliant. But this year I need it. And I asked. Serendipitously, the right people and opportunities have started surfacing where I need them in my business and personal worlds. Beautiful, talented and caring people are organically forming this circle that is holding me. Building me up. Truly seeing me. And opportunities have arrived that are nudging me to expand. I am stretching myself to embrace receiving, to say yes and welcome what it brings. This simple act leaves me feeling more grateful and open to what the universe has to offer.

Finding hope and strength in the most difficult moments. These are the moments I really just want to curl up in a ball and hibernate from life. These moments knock you down and it would be so easy to just stay there. But instead you get up, brush off and find the opportunity for growth. I feel grateful for this spirit of hope and perseverance that naturally springs from me when needed. I sometimes think it has come from experiencing adversity in life.

I am putting my focus on gratitude, and sending a thank you from my whole heart out into the winds to be scattered far and wide.

This post is part of the Flying Lessons monthly blog circle. Hop to the next blog to read what my creative sister Laly Mille is feeling grateful for.

xo 

Solo Retreat

[ harmony, winter, surfacing — solo retreat 2013 ]

I've been doubting who I am lately. Feeling stuck in fear, and holding back. After a challenging stretch I decided to embark on a 3 day intensive solo retreat (thank you generous husband for making the space for me to do this). I didn't find all the answers, but I (re) learned that everything I need is within me. I journaled, read, and spent most of my time in the studio. I practiced following my art curiosities to see where they would take me, and worked on letting go of the rules and dialogues that keep me working only in the safe zone.

Here is some of the creativity that tumbled and bumped and poured out of me. I'm fragile, but my heart is open.

[ birds & harmony — solo retreat 2013 ] 

[ pair of birds — solo retreat 2013 ] 

[ winter – solo retreat 2013 ] 

[ surfacing - solo retreat 2013 ]

[ treasure boxes, crackle paint experiment — solo retreat 2013 ]

[ typpography paper experiment, using words from my bio ]

[ geli print-making experiment, using only found materials from around the house and my own hand-carved stamps to create textures ]

[ considering sketches from throughout the year, and pairing with backgrounds already in progress or making new backgrounds ]

[ using up my in-progress backgrounds – making room for fresh starts! ]

[ this is the card I drew on the first eve of my solo retreat. the universe answered my call ]

Fixated on the need to have something to show for our labors, we often deny our curiosities. Every time we do this, we are blocked.
—Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

with love,

p.s. New series Evolving Art starting soon – I'll share pictures of the evolution of paintings from beginning to end. These new pieces will be the first ones shown. I hope you'll come back to see.

On becoming a possibilitarian

One year ago I took a course with Kelly Rae Roberts called Flying Lessons—Tips and Tricks to make your Creative Business Soar. It opened up a new world full of positive, determined and successful soul sisters. And it opened up my mind to possibility.

It didn't all start there though. There were some baby steps before that led me to this particular course at this particular moment in my life.

The pivotal moment when everything changed for me was 2 springs ago. I came out of the fog after having my little baby boy. He was approaching three and was this beautiful little guy, and yet I felt a deep emptiness even though I had everything I ever wanted. I felt stuck, and like I couldn't change my reality. I went within. I was quiet and still for a long time. Before long my truths and passions and dreams started pouring out. A door opened and couldn't be closed back up. I started to create with my hands (I have been painting my whole life, but not like this), I let myself feel intense emotions, and I created soul sister connections. I allowed. I let myself be vulnerable. I confronted fears. I let myself dream. I let myself believe. And I trusted that with hard work my dreams would take shape. And they have; they are. I'm still confronting fears, still challenging myself to be open and be vulnerable, and always will be. I'm still learning to sit with my truths. And I'm still navigating and overcoming the self-doubt that stops possibility in its tracks. The big change is that I'm learning to think, feel and live like a possibilitarian.

I must say, it takes guts to live from this place. It's an uncomfortable place to be, perched on the edge between possibility and dismal failure. But it makes perfect sense. Everything I do in life and and love and work comes from the same place; from a place of hope, of possibility.

This is a big year for me. I recently launched my Etsy shop and put my art out in the world. I finished my business plan for this new branch of my business. My family is working mindfully at living intentionally, and consciously working towards harmony and love in our home. And I am manifesting abundance rather than focusing on scarcity. I am well on my way to being a possibilitarian. And I'm celebrating all the possibilitarians out there. We're on this messy, beautiful, chaotic, glorious ride together  

This post is part of the Flying Lessons monthly blog circle. Hop to the next blog to read about becoming a Possibilitarian!  

Next stop on the circle is the amazing Naz Laila:

- A Gentle Rebellion -

xx 

Join the possibilitarian tribe here.

knowing yourself

The one who grasps the thousand contradictions of his life integrates them into a single whole.
 

—excerpt from poem by Rainer Maria Rilke

Close women friends, my husband and my mom (all in separate conversations) have shared every crucial conversation that inspired the changes in the past couple of years of my life. It feels like this has been a time of coming to know myself. A time full of contradictions.

Most of my life I felt lost. Without realizing it I was suppressing much of what was authentically me. I was fitting myself into the box I felt society celebrated. I was pleasing others.

Having my son was a gift in more than one way. It birthed new consciousness as well. I went through a dark period afterwards that ultimately pushed me to grow and learn about myself. As I have come to know myself better I have started to love myself more.

 [ love: digital illustration by ginger deverell ]

I find now, rather than focusing on what society expects, I'm drawn to seemingly unrelated things: Simple living, Ayurvedic eating and healing, art and creative pursuits, gardening, quiet time in nature, reading, real conversations, quality time with loved ones, alone time, positivity. All of these things add up to me. They are very connected. They are all key ingredients in my growth, and when combined they become a single whole of self-knowing.

For the first time in my life, more often than not I feel contented and connected. It's less about external circumstances and more about the calm of knowing and accepting myself. It's fleeting and takes conscious work, and more than a little vulnerability, but I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else. It feels freeing.

[ know yourself: digital illustration by ginger deverell ]

XO

on growth

[image credit: morning dew, fine art america]

Every day is a growth day. I want to stay in my happy productive zone and skip past all the dark places, but that's just not how it works. We're human, and this means insecurity, guilt, anger, shame, doubt. They creep up on us. I dig in my heels and resist but inevitably I can't avoid the dark moments. I find myself overwhelmed by exhaustion and emotion that are no longer willing to be ignored. It's tough, uncomfortable. But then I find myself on the other side and I know it was necessary to go through it rather than fighting to dodge around it. It's the beauty of growth. And of life.

I've been reading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. This book is truly profound and life altering. It's also uncomfortable, overwhelming, heartbreaking, and hopeful. All the necessary ingredients for growth. If you haven't found yourself a copy it's so worth hunting one down and carving out some time to read this incredibly crafted insight into the underlying things that drive our beliefs, self-esteem, behaviours, relationships and ultimately our ability to love, lead and parent. Brené Brown has some amazing kernels of wisdom to share.

With renewed confidence and strength,

Healing + Truth

[ art journal page from last summer]

When I had a baby four years ago I knew it would be a journey. The beautiful thing I didn't realize was it would be a healing journey - body and soul healing.

After my son was born I was propelled into physical health challenges. They seemed insurmountable, unsolvable. I wrestled, I fought. And then I started to approach them peacefully and holistically and carried myself through many phases of healing (still going). All this physical recalibrating naturally led to emotional soul seeking. At first with prompts from many great books (oh how I loved it when my latest amazon parcel arrived. Those parcels kept me going). And then over time the prompts came from within. I started to listen, and the more I did the more the answers revealed themselves.

I started to paint again. I expanded.

I connected with nature. I expanded.

I found people who build me up and formed my community. I expanded.

And I found clarity on work, on my passion for art and design, and on the kind of business I want to be running. Tweaks were made, are continually being made. I'm finding my truths.

I'm on this journey, always will be, thankfully. My world is expanding, my energy is back, my heart is swelling and I'm looking forward. There are bumps along the way for sure, but I've got optimism and truth tucked in my pocket, and they always win.

xo

A New Year and Gratitude

Happy New Year everyone!

I'm excited to be starting a fresh new year, to dig in to new challenges, to create beauty. I'm ready to feel my soul grow again this year.

Last year was a big one for me. My son turned 3, and I came out of my parent-focused shell. I launched myself onto a creative growth path that has been quietly dancing around to me for years (for most of my life I guess, I just wasn't quite ready to understand what it all meant). I just knew that it was time. Time to find my creative self, to trust my instincts, to follow those callings and leap towards everything that felt right to me. I did just that. I put logic aside. I sacrificed a lot. And I felt alive for the first time in years. Over the next six months I took two online mixed media courses, a creative business class, started blogging about my journey, designed and launched a new and improved website for my creative business, launched a company page on facebook, painted more than I have in the last 5 years, started exploring doing prints of my art, and am now I am working towards opening an Etsy shop to sell my art & reproductions. I have come alive. I am buzzing with creativity, calm with strong confidence, quiet as I listen to myself and trust that I know the way, and grateful for this life I am creating.

I am serious, excited and scared.

I've only ever felt whole when I was creating. As a youngster I lived on a rural acreage, immersed in nature, usually alone and outdoors. I had a vivid imagination and was always working on something. I started with drawing, gluing, crafting, doodling and storytelling. My dad got me started painting when I was about 5. Then handmade floral jewelry and hair clips when I was about 8. Then it was book-making, book-marks, art cards. Then as a pre-teen I was writing stories; mostly unfinished novels. I figure skated, took dance lessons. And through it all I was painting. I took every art-related opportunity that was available to me in a small town, and I relished in every lesson. I danced, skated, glued, pasted, brushed, wrote. It poured out of me. I distinctly remember feeling more at home in my high school art room than anywhere else.

And when I grew up I tried to keep art at the centre of my life but slowly it drifted off to the periphery. It was a once-in-a-while hobby. My design work is wonderfully creative, but still something was always missing in my life. I traveled and explored and tried to fill that quiet void, but it wasn't until last summer that my life exploded with the joy I always knew was waiting. I had been admiring the works of Anahata Katkin and Papaya Art for a few years and then one day in the late spring of 2012 I looked up their website on a whim. It led me to a whole new world of art - mixed media art -and my world immediately expanded, as though I had taken a huge breath. I knew instantly that I had found my place. It was then my mixed media art course with Danita, and a book called Taking Flight by Kelly Rae Roberts that had me riveted and in no time I was changing the whole course of my life, knowing with complete certainty that this with the path for me.

And here I am today. Embarking on a new year, ready for all that it brings and feeling grateful. And feeling, finally, at home.

With renewed energy, and gratitude, thank you for sharing this experience with me.

Fear and Courage

Most of my life has been driven by fear. Of failing, not being enough, making mistakes and being judged, of being irrelevant. 

Tonight I sat in Sweet Revenge, a decadent dessert patisserie with my girlfriend sharing stories of our lives and dreams and ambitions. I was rambling on about all the things I want to do to leverage my art; open an etsy shop, sell prints & cards & artful products, spend more of my days creating. I rattled off excuses for why I'm not ready yet and everything that needs to happen first (I had a list for sure). She simply said "you're waiting for perfection. You need to just go for it. Do it and deal with what happens after." I rattled off more excuses but she was having none of it. Set me to task and promised to harass me every day until I take the next step and launch a shop, or something equivalent. She gave me until the end of the month. I better get busy :)

But really, the topic of fear hasn't been far from my mind in, well forever. It's a demon of mine and we keep doing the same dance. It's time for me to be brave despite my fears. I have accomplished much in this life, and there is so much more to do. My heart soars when I am creating beautiful artwork, designs and illustrations. I know what I love to do. And I am proud of my boutique company which I have poured my heart into for nearly ten years. I'm on a path, and I'm doing it, fear aside. 

Sweet Revenge Patisserie - I didn't take any photos when we were there, so I grabbed these from google. I believe credit is due to Jube's Comic Blog and Vandiary.

With courage and delight, I wish you a great night.