[ bloom - cherry blossom from our lovely neighbourhood this spring ]
The winter season has come to a close. A season of intense design projects has wrapped up and here I am, exhausted and in need of major rejuvenation. I was trying to figure out how to start my transition from out-of-balance, overworked, distracted ... to calm, relaxed, creative (in preparation for the upcoming art retreat I'm attending and for all the hard work coming over the next few months as I really dig deep and define my strategy for growing my artist business). I found myself stumbling around online, checking out the blogs of a few favourite mentor artists. These two blog posts by Kelly Rae and Flora Bowley brought me completely to tears. The yearning to do more with my art is so intense that I could feel physical pain (literally) at the thought that I might not ever get to explore to this level and experience these kinds of life altering revelations and creative adventures. I felt the same heartache after I became a mother and my travel adventures dwindled due to practical things like budget and time. Art-making and traveling are how I learn about myself and ultimately how I grow as a person.
So on this rainy morning I sat here with my tea and I started imagining what I would want to do if I could do ANYTHING... and slowly this little idea started to bubble... it has to do with stepping out of my comfort zone and leading art retreats. I had convinced myself that I'm a lone artist and do best when I run solo, but today these little whispers surfaced and I instantly knew they had been there all along and I just wasn't ready to listen. I can see the picture so clearly - I'm leading others in wonderful international retreats in places that my heart is called to – full of nature, beauty, calm, personal introspection, uninhibited art creating, and ultimately growth. I'm on a healing journey and I want to surround myself with others who are too. I am here to create more than just beautiful art, I'm here to help others realize their power and beauty through art. I had never made the full connection of just how much my art is about personal growth and healing. At the heart of it all it's about loving your whole self, letting go of restrictions and expectations and being yourself as you truly are, despite all the judgements and pitfalls that come with being human.
It feels profound. My vision for my life just expanded. More to come as I sit with this.